Getting out of my own way

This is a lot of what this is about.

Mentally breaking through the barriers that my mind consistently put into place out of habit. It's so freeing. I feel weightless. Haha.... the irony.

I've been hungry, par for the course i suppose. But not spiritually hungry. not mentally hungry. just physically. and that is a mostly foreign feeling. but it feels good. it feels light and airy and free and releasing, and like i can fly.

And i'm not hating my body as much. That poor self talk has also lessened. But i'm able to see it now as though I'm someone else. I'm watching myself make the changes that I've suggested others make. But this is on a deeper level than i ever realized. The mental/phys/emo/spiritual plane, yes. But on the cellular level, my body is growing a new awareness. It hasn't known how to be thin. How to operate itself while taking up less space. How not to metabolize for storage of extra.

I'm getting out of my own way, physically. I'm being in this body that is too big, that is cumbersome. It feels like i'm wearing a fat suit. My arms are too big. They get in my way. They dont cross over my chest easily. I'm constantly lifting them away from the side of my body because everything rubs too much. Not like an anorexic in the mirror-i hate my body kind of way. But in a legitimate, i'm taking up too much space and i'm getting in my own way kind of way. Literally, in my own way.

Back to the cellular level thing. I wonder what's been looked at about this. I'm retraining my cells. And gratefully, i'm aware of it. I'm aware that this is going to be foreign, so when i experience the hunger, the shrinking, the adjusting metabolism, i am welcoming it. I am saying yes, this is how this body is meant to work. This, is how you are meant to be. Lighter, freer, smaller...

Where science and the spirituality of mental/emo wellness meet, is where this transformation can take place. Not because I "must" transform, but because i've been yearning for it for a long long time. And now i finally see the way out of the trees. It's been a long cold dark time in the forest, but there's light ahead, and it's already starting to shine on me as i journey forward.