This audio has brought about the awareness for a new shift.
The struggle doesnt seem as great these days. It hasn't been that long, but the pull and the reliance and the dependence is lessening. Like with any new work out or routine, it gets stronger the more you flex it and use it.
Detachment... and being reactionary
Conversation w Martha
Letting go... of stories...of beliefs... of useless old patterns of thought
Realizing more and more the things i keep inside, that i dont share. My wife and i talked a lot last night about trust and fidelity and my doubts in that arena. I realized i was carrying those things forward. That they are from old hurts and i'm keeping them alive by permitting these thought patterns. Same for the overeating.
The obsessive thoughts of food, when to eat it, how, where, how soon, etc. have fallen away. Leaves a lot of free space in my mind. And my heart.
Martha asked me what the underlying "payoff" is to have the extra weight. I said protection and she responded that she thought it was something more...
It's part of how i identify... i realize that.
Was it really just something to keep me busy? To give a link to my propensity to worry? To blame others?
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